To begin with, these ideas are solely reflective of how I think
the society and the average Indian parent responds to the term ‘Relationships’
and how the present generations always seem to have a liberal outlook towards
the same. The essay, which is going to follow soon after this, is only a
commentary on how we as a living life form need the accompaniment of another
life form. Apologies in advance to those who might feel violated after reading
this. Also, Maa and Pa, if you’re reading this, please don’t disown me. Haha.
Relationships. The
term used to define a special bond between two people, most commonly based on
some affection, emotion, or some common cause of action between the two. It is
however, most commonly misinterpreted. The narrowest meaning that it draws is
the Relationship between two lovers. There is a relationship between a brother
and another. There is a relationship between a father and a daughter. There is
a relationship between a coach and the team. There is a relationship between a
boss and an employee. There is a relationship between you and your pet. And
even beyond that, you share a relationship with objects, crudely put, an
attachment with those objects. How is it so that we as humans, the most
intelligible race to walk this earth right now, can’t seem to perfect this
concept of Relationships. Whatever the reasons may be, I believe it’s worth the
time to solve this riddle.
Assuming the fact that it is perfectly alright to use the
term Relationship freely so, and to use it critically only towards the one
between lovers, I’d like to draw out different lines of arguments. While we
greatly pride in the fact that we are growing as a society and are becoming
increasingly liberal towards how we look at institutions like Love and
Affection, we are also the same society which witnesses honour killings and
suicides caused due to depressions induced by relationships. When we are so
great a society to accept the fact that love is most divine a feeling that even
our gods felt, but we’re also so naïve to not accept that our teens can feel
the same emotion, there is little room to debate the merits of the same. It is
reasonable however that people have their reservations about this concept of
Relationships and Dating. The last time people accepted any belief without
questioning its merits, it spread pretty spot on. I guess we call it religion
now.
While Parents continue to quote examples of how
relationships seem to be destroying their kids, there seems to be something
fishy in the picture. Selective Interpretation is what is ruining this concept.
Agreed, that relationships aren’t always going to last, But I’m amongst those
who believe that everything has to last its complete cycle before you can judge
it and add a tag to it that it isn’t meant to be a positive thing. What other
experience in your life teaches you about how to carry all the necessary
luggage of studies, career, and work and still value the people you love,
better than a relationship? Yes, it does break the hearts of many when people
break up. But, show me one method of learning in life that doesn’t involve
chances of failure? Having said so, relationships do come at a very costly
price. A price that is going to be explained in detail.
Friendzone. An infamous position to be in, if your love is one
sided. The interpretation, and very well, its existence, have a well-founded
base of misconception. There exists a perilous and troubling reality behind it.
When a romantic partner says NO,
not everyone reacts with a light hearted attitude. The stigma behind this is
the fact that most youth believe that with passage of time, their romantic
interest will exhibit interest in them. And sadly though, not every wait
results in a successful founding of a relationship. One sided love is as toxic
and harmful as any addiction. And by the misappropriate usage of this term,
Friendzone, it somehow shifts the onus from the person who is in love to the
person who is loved. And by the huge public backing to this trend, everyone
cheers for the other to get out of this so called Friendzone. The problem
behind this sort of backing, is deep rooted. When some one person fails to get
together with their amour, there arise feelings of spite, hatred, self-loathing
and so on.
Well, all that only happens when the other counterpart doesn’t
exhibit the same feelings. The loss of self-esteem is in fact, tremendous. But,
then again, does it boost the esteem by a good fraction if they are successful?
There are many who believe that relationships are nothing but a waste of time
and energies. And they do have some merit to their arguments. Relationships are
in fact, at times, painstaking. And when we get to break-ups, they are
absolutely heart-breaking. The depressions that follow are pretty well known,
Thanks to the ridiculous Bollywood/Tollywood movies that show pretty spot on that
after a break up the men always end up becoming alcoholics and drug abusers.
(Just Kidding about the Drug Abuse.)
That was all the negatives I could cough up? No. We’re all a
part of a generation that doesn’t think twice before challenging age old
notions of culture. While culture dictates that philandering relationships are
equivalent to sinning, these young rebels can’t wait to unleash their rebellion
and defiance to the said culture. Lust carries the same weight as love in some
relationships, and that forms the shaky base to a shady relationship. Sexual
frustration is a common sight in relationships these days, and unfortunately
so, it is these kinds of relationships that worry the parents the most. Agreed
that human curiosity is a big deal, and I’m not being biased here, but do you
think it is justified to use a relationship to quell this lust?
As is with any case, there’s a great deal of positives to
take away from Relationships. They make one more responsible, they make the
world a better place while it lasts, and they give you a reasoning. If
anything, Relationships are a learning experience if used rightly. The stakes
are definitely high, given that it involves the lives of two individuals and
unfortunately in most cases, the reputation and name of two families. They are
a risk you should be willing to take very responsibly. Because fortunately or
unfortunately, the society we live in right now judges everyone very easily.
Love is a very fluttering emotion. It can leave you flabbergasted for more. We
feel love in the strangest ways at times. For me true love is when my dog makes
it a point to keep licking my face even when it knows I’m tired of its shit.
Love to me is when my mom makes me my favourite food when I get back home from
the hostel without being lectured about it being unhealthy. Love is when I can
hug my dad for absolutely no reason to irritate him and stop him from working
on whatever he’s working on.
The same way that version of love is pure, so is the love in
most relationships. While one of my friends tells me the truest love she saw
was when her grandmother used to taste the tea for her granddad to see if it’s
too hot, there’s another who hopes she’d find a guy whose thought waves would
match hers and maybe then they’d resonate together. (THESE GEEKY ROMANCES I
TELL YOU.) There will always be versions of love. And I guess if you just add
some commitment to it, you’ll find yourself in a relationship. There will be
those who’ll tell you that it is indeed a waste of time, well I’ll tell you,
what a wondrous waste of time. There will be those who’ll tell you your heart
might break, well I’ll tell you, what better a time to test the strengths of
your heart than when you can actually recuperate from the loss? There will be
those who’ll tell you there’s time for better things to come, well I’ll tell
you, what better a time to revel in the joy of love than today? For as long as
we don’t forget the fact that any and every relationship can have love as its
causal link, there is always hope for prosperity and growth. It is an adventure
at its best, and well, are you ready for some?
There once stood a tree,
That sheltered hearts which were
free.
Once rain wreaked all havoc and
set everything in commotion,
Among those effected was one who
lost all emotion.
She took shelter under the tree
that night,
It’s then that the man emerged in
sight.
They spoke of nothing,
But yet they sparked quite
something.
Lost in thought,
A war of hearts they fought.
Her insecurities shone out
bright,
And he by all means wanted to set
that right.
His brawn shone brighter than his
brains,
But she liked that too, for it
shielded them from the rains.
Love, or no love, there was
something in the air,
And they too felt this feeling so
rare.
Love is a very rare and a treasured
feeling. Relationships are nothing but means to an ends to explore this feeling
of love. If possible, give it some thought. Because your parents might be
against it, the society will definitely have a field day troubling the living
hell out of you, and if your parents are in fact supportive, the relationship’s
break up will hurt even more. If you came searching for solutions to the
problem of how we perceive relationships, Apologies. This article was only
meant to stir up some thoughts. While happily dousing ourselves in the days of
youth, let’s not forget that these relationships are way more than just a fancy
commitment. And if you’re feeling just as adventurous with your loved one, Go
Ahead, it might just be your Adventure
of a lifetime.
You've got One life, One Shot, One Chance, and just One goal ahead of you, would you still take the risk?
